As you progress along your paleo journey, and meet people following this way of life, you realise that everyone has their own way of adopting the paleo diet and living a more primal lifestyle. You also begin to notice personality traits of these people, whether in person or on social media. Inspired by Seven Shades of Paleo on Robb Wolf’s website, and originally appearing on my blog this past summer, the attributes below are an observation on how Paleo people live and behave.
*Disclaimer: this post isn’t meant to offend or mock anyone following the Paleo diet. It is a humorous and sarcastic look at the many attributes associated with this religion lifestyle.
7 Paleo Personalities
1. ‘Paleo Police’ Paleo
You’re that guy that rains on the other Paleo people’s parades. You often find yourself thinking, uttering, typing your now clichéd phrase – “That’s not paleo.”. This could be in response to recipes, posts, and photos on social media, or even a friend or family member’s attempt at making a Paleo dish for you – especially when they contain grey area foods, like white potatoes, butter, and rice. You also flaunt your imaginary badge when you encounter a Paleo civilian using more primal or ketogenic ingredients like xylitol or dairy (gasp!). You feel it’s your raison d’etre to keep those who aren’t Paleo perfect in line, and hand them a hefty fine in guilt if they’ve offended.
One day, you hope to open a Paleo Police Academy, of which you will be Police Chief. In the meantime, you sit at home designing your badge.
2. ‘PR’ Paleo
You’re THE spokesperson for Paleo because it worked for you! You love it! You’ve made so much progress! You feel great! You want to wax Paleo on anyone and everyone that will listen. You also try to convert people all the time often. Furthermore, you don’t understand why Paleo gurus like Mark Sisson, Loren Cordain, and Kris Kresser haven’t offered you a job; the effort you put into promoting this lifestyle is huge!
This personality is characterised by constant chatter on ancestral eating and living, with one’s audience possessing a glazed-over look on their face(s). When I first went Paleo, I was definitely this personality, but I’ve since learned to tone it down… a bit.
3. ‘Master Debater’ Paleo
You’re like PR Paleo in your zest and passion for this way of eating; however you prefer a good debate over selfless promotion. Whether online or in person, you like to argue discuss your Paleo views with anyone who will listen. Topics include; Saturated Fat Being Healthy, Calories In v. Calories Out, Why Meat Should Be a Part of Human Diets, or Defending Paleo to Those With a More SAD (Standard American Diet) Outlook on Life. You’ll argue your point in hopes of changing your audience’s mind, and you know this will happen because you’ve done your research, therefore you are correct in everything you say. Your main opposition are vegans and nutrition students. Some would go so far as to call you a ‘Paleo Troll’.
I too was this personality in my early days following the diet.
4. ‘Paleo-fy Anything’ Paleo
You may have switched to a diet of real foods made with real ingredients, but it doesn’t mean you can never have the carb-loaded foods you used to love. You endeavour to make pancakes, waffles, donuts, bread, muffins, cakes, bagels, chocolate bars, biscuits, and even gummy sweets, but out of Paleo approved ingredients instead. Your kitchen is the place where SAD food dies and is reborn Paleo.
And of course, because it’s totally Paleo-fied, it’s healthy…. Right?
5. ‘Processed’ Paleo
Due to your boundless energy and mental clarity, you lead a very busy life. You meal prep when there happens to be a spare few hours on the weekend, but this isn’t a regular part of your routine. Instead, you adopt some short cuts. You can still get real, less processed food that’s Paleo, can’t you? Of course! You peruse the aisles at your designer grocery store and browse the Paleo food websites to help you formulate a diet that suits your hectic lifestyle. You regularly purchase many premade but Paleo-approved foods, such as protein and energy bars, cookies, crisps, seed crackers, raw chocolate bars, pizzas, chia pudding, pasta, wraps, and biltong. These, combined with vegetables, fruit, meat, and healthy fats make up your diet.
This personality isn’t to be confused with Paleo-fy Anything Paleo, who makes these same foods in the comfort of their own home.
6. ‘Part-time’ Paleo
You’re strict Paleo, 50% of the time. Unbeknownst to you, the 80/20 rule recommended by some experts escapes you. It’s too difficult to resist the sugar and grain-based foods at your work, you don’t consistently make time for meal prepping or even cooking the majority of your meals at home, and sometimes you’re just so tired from a busy day at work. You have every good intention of becoming ‘Full-time Paleo’, just not yet.
7. ‘Paleo Sympathetic’
A termed initially coined by a good friend, you follow a strict Paleo diet as a way of supporting your significant other who is devoted to Paleo. You’re completely and utterly Paleo in the presence of your partner, but only because you love them so much and want to support them. It also helps that the food is delicious, and that your jeans are looser. You’ve been known to make a few Paleo recipes yourself, but once away from your main squeeze, you abandon Paleo principles because who can resist real pizza, beer, and donuts? Takeaway with your pals? Your favourite savoury pastry from the local bakery? Perhaps, instead of following Paleo for your partner, this is where you could exercise the 80/20 rule?
This personality is Paleo for a loved one, and shouldn’t be confused with Part-time Paleo.
Idiosyncrasies aside, the common bond each personality shares is an interest and commitment to ancestral eating. And that’s the most important part.
Which personality are you? Why not leave a comment below?